bye bye, CAAVEBITCH...
hello, IMAFATTYBITCH

I NEVER KNEW THAT THERE WAS AN ACTUAL VIDEO FOR THIS RECORDING!
if you have been too sheltered or just too dumb to realize the genius of bradley nowell, then this should surely set you straight.




you heard him: ain't got ANY lyrics!
and how much of this impromptu freestyle to a barely recognizable rudimentary version of a future huge fucking song ended up on the final copy? hmmmm

fact: i genuinely think less of somebody when they don't have any sublime in their music collection.

hate hate hate HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE

i think my new thing is going to be high-fiving band members while they set up.
i nearly made out with my own hand last night at spaceland.

when you've got nothing and no one else...





there's always elbow macaroni.

i am proud to say that not until this moment have i personally sought out that one m.i.a. song that everyone knows. and i must say that it sounds much less epic when not coming out of far-away speakers or the TV during a pineapple express commercial.

Americuuuh, fuck yea!
Coming to save the mother fucking day, yeah.



i'm pretty fucked up over the way prop 8 and prop 5 are looking.
- 5. it's so fucking necessary. for non-violent drug offenses:

• Allocates $460,000,000 annually to improve and expand treatment programs for persons convicted of drug and other offenses.
• Limits court authority to incarcerate offenders who commit certain drug crimes, break drug treatment rules or violate parole.
• Substantially shortens parole for certain drug offenses; increases parole for serious and violent felonies.
• Divides Department of Corrections and Rehabilitation authority between two Secretaries, one with six year fixed term and one serving at pleasure of Governor. Provides five year fixed terms for deputy secretaries.
• Creates 19 member board to direct parole and rehabilitation policy.

i always have the feeling that no one gets it. i'd just like some relief.
i'm sorry, dad, that i can't share your blind optimism. i'm not impressed that bill clinton admitted making a mistake in his presidency. i'm not impressed that he said that bush did something right, and i'm not going to pretend to be so dumb that i can't see the real meaning behind such a statement. and no, everyone in the world does NOT respect everyone else. how can you be so blind?

i really want to go back to london.

it's an elliott smith kind of night. slightly drunk, very irritated and angry. ready to blow up.


last night, i went to the old town pub with my friend will and his new girlfriend. i asked a girl if i could have a cigarette and she said yes, in exchange for some advice. i asked her what she needed advice about and she said 'anything'. i went on a drunken ramble for probably about ten minutes, something about how women are the source of all life and need to stop hating ourselves, need to start worshiping ourselves and trusting our instincts. something else about our periods and the cycles of the moon. she watched and listened to me with such open, innocent eyes. i told her that she was beautiful and made her go find a piece of paper and a pen so she could write down the name of a song i wanted her to listen to.

i just had a very valuable realization: there is no better hangover cure than singing.
rilo kiley is one of my favorite bands to sing along to... well, at least the More Adventurous era. and that is exactly what i've been doing for like an hour. if i could have one wish, ONLY one wish for the rest of my life, it would be to be really good at singing. i can take care of everything else. i'll make money on my own, find love on my own, deal with the inevitable death of loved ones. all i want is to be great at this one thing.
i'm pretty sure that if i took lessons, this wish could come true. i know that i have abilities, i've been told that i have 'a beautiful singing voice', i feel pretty good about singing certain songs in front of people. i don't know. i think that the knowledge that we can do exactly what we want is the most scary thing in the world.

i really need to stop smoking cigarettes when i drink.

i am on drugs


the stooges
this violi n feel ius too much

i sauteed tomatoes and broccoli in olive oil for dinner tonight and it was sooooo good
the broccoli soaked in chunks of tomato and the juice from the tomatoes, and then salt and pepper in it and ahhhhhh. i could eat that shit every day.

i am deeply in love with both of the busboys at my work. all we do on weekends is have little in-passing conferences, make fun of customers and make each other laugh. high fives abound.

i ate a lot of crap food today and i feel crappy.

i went on a little amazon.com shopping spree that made me wish for the days of weekly amoeba trips, resulting in all sorts of amazing deals and finds...



purely for this scene... and, well, just crispin glover in general.











wow, i have forgotten how incredible this band was/IS? i haven't heard any of their new stuff for like two years...

another thing i used to quite enjoy that i am rediscovering is horror films. when i was in middle school, i was obsessed. my mom had to eventually lay down the law and only allow me to rent one per week, which was devastating. there used to be a record store by my house, and i would walk over and spend my lunch money on indie cds and weird old videos, like http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/White_Zombie_(film) and http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Terror_(1963_film), and just eat them up. today, i went to the school library between classes to look for a good book on the subject, which was fairly successful (i found one purely on American horror, but it references foreign influences often). i am only about 30 pages in, but it is amazing, and i have so many more movies to put on my list to see. i also checked out a book called The Walmart Effect.

thank god for free information.

on the phone with my friend, will, i told him that i am turning into a henry rollins-type loner. he replied, "no, you'd have to work out a lot more."



i thought it was pretty good.

god, do i love ian mackaye.


even though i will probably never be straight edge, i still think he was, and is, fucking awesome.